We signed up for a HypnoBirthing class and had our first session last night. HypnoBirthing is an approach to labor and delivery that focuses on self-hypnosis not really to deal with pain, but sort of to transcend the pain.

Except they don't call it "labor," they call it "birthing." And they don't call it "pain," they call it "pressure" or "sensation." (Some of these terms I've had to look up, since our class is in Spanish.) Changing one's vocabulary is considered an important part of seeing birth in a different way. Although my more sensible side says that's silly, I'm all in. If having a calm, natural birth means talking about "surges" and "waves" instead of "contractions," so be it. I'm giving it a try! Wait, I'm not supposed to say that. I'm doing it!! Watch me!

Last night's class was split into several parts, including a history of birth and HypnoBirthing, some explanation of the muscles, hormones, etc. involved in birth, relaxation exercises and some video.

The relaxation exercises were actually our introduction to self-hypnosis. I remember them perfectly and was in control the whole time, so it's worth mentioning that if you think it's funny to ask me to bark like a dog while I'm practicing these exercises (or, God forbid, in actual labor) you are not going to get anywhere except to annoy me. So anyway, one exercise had us imagining a familiar place, experiencing it with all our senses, down to imagining a perfect lime, cutting it and taking a bite out of it. That probably sounds weird but that's how it works. And you do get quite into this visualization. I think I would have done even better, except the Babe decided that would be the perfect time to practice some kung fu, and that was a little distracting. At the same time, I am going to have to do these visualizations during "surges" and "waves" and more, so I guess I'd better get used to tuning out distractions. You really, really have to be able to go inside yourself, and that is something that takes practice. Fortunately I now have a CD of exercises that should help with that.

The videos were a bit distracting because of their age. if there's one recommendation I have for HypnoBirthing at this point, it's to update the materials a bit. (I have a few suggestions actually, but I will keep them to myself for now.) Anyway, the videos showed two ladies peacefully and quietly giving birth — something you usually see on TV as a time for screaming, yelling, demanding drugs and hitting your husband. It was pretty incredible. And of course they actually showed the birth, vajayjay and all. I know I am going to sound like an ignoramus but I am not sure if I have ever seen that before. I have some vague recollection of a health video in middle school, but if I saw a baby crowning and coming right out, it's something I long ago blocked from my conscious mind.

In case you were wondering, yes, this is our second childbirth class. We are also taking a class with our doula, which is more all-encompassing, with information on nutrition, baby care, breastfeeding, etc. We should be pretty educated by the time all is said and done!