Some interesting research this week about drinking while pregnant. As some people in the U.S. and pretty much everyone outside the U.S. have long suspected, a glass of wine every now and then is not going to result in the dreaded Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.

I abstained from alcohol for the first trimester and then some, and then a couple of months ago asked my doctor about it. I was somehow bracing myself for her to excoriate me for even asking, but then she just said, "a glass of wine or beer every week or so is fine." She basically said the people who have problems are people who are alcoholics. My doula has also encouraged me to have a glass of wine on the weekends when I'm relaxing and enjoying some precious last moments alone with Fran before the baby comes.

I have to admit, the first time I had a glass of wine, I was kind of freaked out about it. Then after a few sips I nearly fell asleep. Several months without drinking will do that to you. So, I try to enjoy my wine when I'm not in a situation where wakefulness is very important. But I do enjoy my weekly wine or beer.

More than that, I enjoy being in a place where people don't judge me for having a drink while pregnant. I have not tried it in the U.S., for lack of opportunity, but I have heard from others there that strangers are always in your business over everything when you're expecting. One of my friends told me she had some random lady scold her for going to Starbucks while she was pregnant, while 1. it was none of her business and 2. my friend was not even having a coffee. Judging from this, I am happy that when I'm at a restaurant here in Mexico and I ask for a glass of wine, no one bats an eyelash. In fact, when we were on our babymoon in Oaxaca, the mezcal salesgirls were trying to get me to come in and sample the merchandise. That seemed a bit odd to me, but I guess what they really cared about was the sale, not my unborn baby.

I think if people decide not to drink at all during pregnancy, that's fine — we all make our choices about which pregnancy dogma to adopt and which to ignore. I have been avoiding caffeine, aside from chocolate, whatever's in decaf coffee and the occasional sip of my husband's Coke. That probably doesn't make all that much sense since research has also shown small amounts of caffeine don't hurt the baby. But, I went cold turkey at the beginning and just never added it back in. I really can't explain why — I sort of miss it sometimes but I've pretty much gotten used to the uncaffeinated life I guess.

What do you think, friends? Do/did you observe all the "rules" or cheat on some? Are people judgy if they see you breaking the rules in public? Are you judgy if you see a pregnant woman having a coffee or a beer (or deli meat or sushi or frozen yogurt or whatever)?